Table of Contents

I. Quips & Quotations & Characters

The 1st

Dubious Achievements . . . Agents . . . Aging . . . Alibis . . . Dick Allen . . . Attendance Woes . . . Autographs . . . Ballparks . . . Ernie Banks . . . Bars . . . The Basement . . . Batting Tips . . . Beanballs . . . Bed Checks . . . Beer . . . Albert Belle . . . Bench Warmers . . . Big Deals . . . Big Outs . . . Biography Titles . . . The Black Sox . . . Barry Bonds . . . Booooo . . . Bouncing Back . . . Brawls . . . The Bright Side . . . Broadcasting . . . Ballplayer/Broadcasters . . . Books . . . The Bronx . . . Brooklyn . . . Brothers . . . Brushbacks . . . The Biz . . .

‘Character’ Profile: Ralph Kiner


The 2nd

Missed Calls . . . Oh, Canada . . . Jose Canseco . . . Cards . . . Rod Carew . . . Chatter . . . Cheatin’ . . . Chemistry . . . Dear Chicago . . . The Church of Baseball . . . Cincy . . . Hello Cleveland! . . . Cleveland & Geography . . . Clothes . . . Clubhouses . . . Coaches . . . Cold Water . . . Collapses . . . Comebacks . . . Comiskey Park . . . Commissioners . . . Complaints . . . Conditioning Conditions . . . Confidence . . . Confusion . . . Control Issues . . . Cooperstown . . . The Cubbies . . . Cub Banners . . . Cub Care . . . Cubs vs. Sox . . . Unkind Cuts . . . Dating . . . Bad Days . . . Good Days . . . Bucky F---in’ Dent . . . Denver . . . The DH . . . Detroit . . . Joe DiMaggio . . . Diminutives . . . The Disabled List . . .

‘Character’ Profile: Jim Bouton


The 3rd

D-I-V-O-R-C-E . . . Drinking Men . . . Drugs . . . Drug Testing . . . Don Drysdale . . . Leo ‘The Lip’ Durocher . . . Education . . . Ego . . . Endorsements . . . Executive Decisions . . . Great Expectations . . . Fan Banners . . . Fan Relations . . . Fantasy Baseball . . . Fantasy Camps . . . Not-So-Fastballs . . . Fatherhood . . . Fenway . . . Fights . . . Fighters . . . Fines . . . Charlie O. Finley . . . Fired . . . Firing . . . Carlton Fisk . . . Football . . . Free Agent Busts . . . Friendship . . . Futility . . .

‘Character’ Profile: Jackie Price


The 4th

Eddie Gaedel . . . Gamers . . . Game Times . . . GM’s . . . Getting Started . . . Girls . . . Gold Gloves . . . Iron Gloves . . . Brushes with Greatness . . . Cal Griffith . . . Hair . . . Hall of Fame Scouting Reports . . . From the ‘Cole Hamels Facts’ Web Site . . . The Head Game . . . Heading West . . . The Heart of the Order . . . Hard-Core Hecklers . . . Heckler Comebacks . . . The Quotable Rickey Henderson . . . Rickey on Numbers . . . Rickey on Rickey . . . Hitters vs. Pitchers . . . Home Run Trots . . . Humility- Players . . . Humility- Teams . . . Not-So-Humble . . . Injuries . . . Intangibles . . . The International Pastime . . . The Internet . . . Mickey Rivers on IQ . . . Reggie vs. Billy . . . Job Security . . . Jay Johnstone . . . Michael Jordan, Ballplayer . . . Juvenile Delinquents . . .

‘Character’ Profile: Rabbit Maranville


The 5th

Knuckleballs . . . Knuckleheads . . . Sandy Koufax . . . Labor Relations . . . The Language Barrier . . . Tommy Lasorda . . . Lawyers . . . Life Advice . . . Life Lessons . . . Lineups . . . Grady Little . . . Long Balls . . . Looks . . . LA . . . Los Angeles of Something . . . Losses . . . Love of the Game . . . Loyalty . . . Luck . . . Managers . . . Managerial Advice . . . Managerial Communication . . . Managerial Philosophy . . . Managerial Stress . . . The Mick . . . Marriage . . . Billy Martin . . . Billy-Brawls . . . Pepper Martin . . . Don Mattingly . . . Willie Mays . . . Mickey McDermott . . . Media Relations . . . The ’62 Mets . . . The ’69 Mets . . . Mets vs. Yanks . . . Milwaukee . . . The Minors . . . Mismatches . . .

‘Character’ Profile: Bill Veeck


The 6th

Monetary Incentives . . . The Money . . . Money Problems . . . Montreal . . . Morality . . . Stan Musial . . . Mustaches . . . The Name Game . . . The National Anthem . . . New York State of Mind . . . Nostalgia . . . Numbers . . . Oakland . . . Anemic Offense . . . One-of-a-Kind . . . Headlines from ‘The Onion’ . . . Owners . . . Satchel Paige . . . Patriotic Declarations . . . The Perfect Game . . . The Phillies . . . Baseball Philosophers . . . Pinstripes . . . Pirates . . . Bad Pitches . . . Good Pitches . . . Player/Managers . . . Playing a Game . . . Playoff Pressure . . . Playoff Runs. . . Politics . . . Practice, Practice, Practice . . . Presidential Presence . . . The Prices . . . Prospects & Suspects . . . Albert Pujols . . .

‘Character’ Profile: Bill Lee


The 7th

Put-Downs . . . The Quotable Dan Quisenberry . . . Manny Ramirez . . . Red Ink . . . The Red Sox . . . The ’78 Red Sox . . . Red Sox Fans . . . Red Sox Optimists . . . Relief . . . Religion . . . The Ring . . . Retired Numbers . . . Retirement . . . Branch Rickey . . . Branch Rickey on Negotiation . . . Rivalries . . . Phil Rizzuto . . . Role Models . . . Curt Schilling . . . Road Games . . . Brooks Robinson . . . Frank Robinson, Manager . . . John Rocker . . . Pete Rose . . . Rules . . . The Running Game . . . Babe Ruth . . . Nolan Ryan . . . The St. Louis Blues . . . Marge Schott . . . Scouts . . . Good Seats . . . Tom Seaver . . . Second Guessing . . . The ‘70’s . . . Short Series . . .

‘Character’ Profile: Manny Ramirez


The 8th

Sign Stealing . . . Slugfests . . . Slumping . . . Not-So-Smarts . . . Spitters . . . Sportswriters . . . Sportswriters on Sportswriters . . . Thin Staffs . . . Stats . . . Stat Inflation . . . Statistical Interpretation . . . Steinbrenner on Steinbrenner . . . Working for the Boss . . . Talking Back to the Boss . . . Stengelese . . . Streaks . . . Strike! . . . Superstitions . . . Surgeries . . . Team Togetherness . . . Teamwork . . . High Tech . . . Luis Tiant . . . Tossed . . . Traded . . . Trade Scenarios . . . Trade Travel . . . Tradition . . . TV . . . Umpiring . . . Ken Kaiser on Umpiring . . . Umpire/Human Relations . . . Ump Eyesight . . . Ugly Uniforms . . .

‘Character’ Profile: Luis Tiant


The 9th

Mo Vaughn . . . Vegas . . . Veterans . . . Veteran Influence . . . Walking . . . The Weather Report . . . Earl Weaver . . . Earl Weaver vs. Jim Palmer . . . Weighty Issues . . . What? . . . Dick Williams . . . Mitch Williams . . . Ted Williams . . . Winning . . . (Baseball) Wisdom . . . Wives . . . World of Sports . . . The World Series . . . World War II . . . Phil Wrigley . . . Wrigley Field . . . Yankee Pride . . . Tales of Yankee Power . . . Yankee Haters . . . Yankee Imperialism . . . Yankee Stadium . . . Yogi . . . Yogi-ism’s . . . Forever Young . . .

‘Character’ Profile: Casey Stengel


II. Nicknames


III. The 20 Greatest Baseball Pranks Ever Pulled

20. Jerry Reuss and the Autographed Ball Incident
19. Gene Michael and the Frog Incident
18. Buddy Lewis and the DC-3 Incident
17. The Thurman Munson Incidents
16. Jay Johnstone and the Grounds Crew Incident
15. Jeffrey Leonard and the Crazy Crab Incident
14. Steve Garvey and the Brownie Incident
13. Babe Ruth and the Waiter Incident
12. John Lowenstein and the Stretcher Incident
11. Luis Aparicio and the Cutoff Jeans Incident
10. Harry Caray and the Miracle Recovery Incident
9. Rabbit Maranville and the Golf Shot Incident
8. Vin Scully and the Ron Fairly Incident
7. Rick Dempsey and the Rain Delay Incident
6. Casey Stengel and the Sparrow Incident
5. Moe Drabowsky and the Bullpen Call Incident
4. Kyle Kendrick and the Japanese Trade Incident
3. The Upright Citizens’ Brigade and the ‘Rob! Rob! Rob!’ Incident
2. George Plimpton and the Sidd Finch Incident
1. Wilbert Robinson and the Grapefruit Incident

‘Character’ Profiles: Moe Drabowsky


Acknowledgements

‘ The Funniest Baseball Book Ever:

Posted 10/18/2009 @ 12:59 AM | Table of Contents